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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881614">Constant Craving</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rickyisms/pseuds/rickyisms'>rickyisms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Check Please! (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Death and Grief, F/F, Ghosts, Slow Burn, hand waving in the general direction of ghost physics, the haus ghosts are in love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:20:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rickyisms/pseuds/rickyisms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Love has never been simple, it's even harder when you and the girl you've had a crush on since summer camp die in a vaguely culty sorority hazing ritual before you can tell her how you feel</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jenny/Mandy (Check Please!)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Waterfalls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ghost femslash? ghost femslash!</p><p>Updates weekly</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jenny is 17 and a camp counsellor working on lake Michigan. Her parents sent her here every year when she was a kid.  She wears her brown hair in a high pony to keep it out of her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She loves the lake. Kids say the best things and she loves the way her sweater smells after a huge bonfire. There’s canoeing and friendship bracelets and late night trips to the kitchen to steal ice cream. And there’s Mandy. Mandy, bubbly and blonde and the biggest blue eyes that Jenny has ever seen. Mandy makes friends easily and quickly, the campers seem to gravitate to her seeing as she’s great at tying the first knot in a friendship bracelets. And she’s nice to Jenny even when Jenny is quiet and sullen and avoiding the other counselors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny’s counting life jackets for the afternoon canoe trip. She’s standing next to the paddle rack by the dock, her light blue camp counsellor shirt is wet with lake water and there’s sand stuck between her toes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny starts, jumps, turning around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sees the shiny blonde hair bobbing in the lake, her almost too wide grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny scrambles to grab one of the paddles that she knocked over after being startled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mandy. What are you doing here?” Jenny asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Swimmin’ what’s it look like,” Mandy grins. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>doing here, it’s like six-thirty.” Mandy says, she’s still smiling. Jenny wonders if her face gets sore from how often she’s grinning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was uh, double checking for the canoe trip this afternoon,” Jenny says, she leans on the paddle rack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you check last night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to make sure,” Jenny says, “That there are enough life jackets and that they all buckle, just in case.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy plants her forearms on the edge of the dock and hoists herself out of the water. She’s wearing a white t-shirt, soaked through, Jenny can see her red bathing suit top underneath. Jenny turns away as Mandy shakes the water out of her hair. She’s 17 and 17 is more than old enough to know that a girl who looks at other girls the way she wants to is strange. She looks away from Mandy and back to the paddle rack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should come swimming with me,” Mandy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” Jenny says, she’s not really that close with Mandy, definitely not close enough to strip off right here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw come on, the kids don’t wake up for another hour, you can jump in and still have time to be paranoid about your lifejackets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy kicks the lake water, splashing up onto the dock</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t you just get out?” Jenny asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can get back in,” Mandy shrugs, “Come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Jenny finally relents, “Just… look away while I take my shorts off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not looking, Girl Scouts’ honour,” Mandy holds her hands over her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny sighs, no going back now. She unbuttons her jean shorts and let’s them fall to the dock. She takes a breath. She starts running, if she runs she’ll either jump into the lake or fall into the lake, either way, she’ll have done it and Mandy will either laugh at her or with her. She kicks off her flip flops on the way, feet slapping against the wood of the dock and then she jumps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She exhales through her nose before she hits the water. It’s cold but it’s the lake and despite her reservations about jumping in, Jenny really does love swimming in Lake Michigan. She bobs to the surface, momentarily disoriented, she turns to Mandy, who’s still sitting on the dock. Mandy slides into the lake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, it’s nice,” Mandy smirks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s freezing,” Jenny deadpans. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I do it every morning, wakes ‘ya up.” Mandy smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny spits lake water over her shoulder, “I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy treads water, moving closer to Jenny. Her hand is moving toward Jenny’s face, Jenny instinctively ducks away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got a leaf in your hair,” Mandy explains, “Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” she reaches for Jenny’s hair, just behind her left ear. Jenny stays still even though her heart rate quickens. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy holds the maple leaf up in front of Jenny as proof, she lets it float away in the water then reaches for Jenny again. Jenny thinks it’s weirder to flinch again so she stays still, treading water, not meeting Mandy’s eyes. Mandy brushes Jenny’s hair off her forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Much better,” Mandy grins. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She plugs her nose and disappears beneath the water. Jenny sees her silhouette cutting through the water. Her arms stretch in front of her, long legs kicking out. Her shoulders are broad, it’s one thing for Jenny to know that and another thing for her to be watching the muscles flex as she swims under the dock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny shakes her head, dives after Mandy. She opens her eyes. It takes a second to adjust to the underwater light but her vision starts to clear and she sees Mandy clearly in front of her, hair floating around her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They resurface under the dock. Jenny takes in a few gasping breaths in time with Mandy, they both laugh. Mandy puts her hand on Jenny’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, I told you it was a good morning for a swim.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha,” Jenny says, “Yeah, I guess you were right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should listen to me more often, Jen, I have good ideas sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny hopes the cold of the lake is enough to keep her from blushing too hard in front of Mandy. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Kill The Lights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mandy likes to bother Justin. It’s just something she does. Jenny participates on occasion, because it makes Mandy happy, and because there’s not a whole lot to do when you’re undead. On this particular occasion, Jenny's not taking part. She’s sitting on the back of Adam’s desk chair looking at the notes flash cards he’s made for his Econ mid-term. She likes that he’s so disorganized because it means she can move things a little so she can read the whole flash card. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can’t really turn a whole page on her own, not reliably. She’s not sure exactly how it works, but  she doesn’t touch things like she was when she was alive. But she can will things to move, just a little. It’s not exact though, it’s like if you left the window open and a gust of wind came through and blew your book to a different page. Not great for reading, but it works for the flashcards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny’s learned a lot of definitions since Adam and Justin took over the attic. Not that the economy matters much to her anymore. Jenny’s attention is taken away from a bright blue flashcard with the word “Asymmetric information” written on the top. She’s concentrating on flipping it over when Justin says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey bro, did you leave the window open?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam doesn’t answer from the bottom bunk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holtzy, bro, it’s cold in here did you leave the window open.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmph,” Adam answers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious man,” Justin continues, Jenny can hear the shake in his voice, she rolls her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy’s better at dropping the temperature than Jenny is, which is frankly, annoying considering she uses her power to do nothing but bug/flirt with Justin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut the fuck up Rans, have another blanket,” Adam throws a duvet up at Justin, it hits Justin in the face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bro do you ever feel like someone’s looking at you?” Justin says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny looks up, and sure enough, Mandy’s kneeling at the end of Justin’s bed staring with her big blue eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mands, come on, let the kid sleep,” Jenny looks at his whiteboard calendar, “He has a quiz tomorrow, he’s stressed enough as it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy’s shoulders sag and she sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” she climbs down the bunk bed and sighs, “I’m going to sleep,” she says. She jumps up, grabs on to one of the rafters and hoists herself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> She used to be a gymnast. Jenny wonders if she misses the gym, the feeling of chalk on her hands. Jenny misses sitting in the stands and watching her compete, uneven bars was her event and Jenny could never figure out how she didn’t just fly into the wall with all that momentum. Jenny never asked her about it. She doesn’t ask about what she misses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pineapple or Grapefruit?” Mandy asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grapefruit,” Jenny answers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They do this every night, before Mandy goes to sleep. She picks two things, and Jenny picks one of them, argues about why it’s better, Mandy picks the other thing. It usually ends with giggles and Mandy going to bed. There’s no point to it, Jenny’s never going to taste a grapefruit again, but it makes Mandy happy, and Jenny does whatever it takes to make Mandy happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks up at Mandy, sees her head leaning against the wooden rafters, her eyes are closed. Jenny thinks that can’t possibly be comfortable. Jenny takes her usual spot under the window, watches the night go by, a squirrel scampers across the tree, she paces around the room, reads some more of Adam’s notes, she walks up and down the stairs to the attic for a while, it’s not bad, time passes a lot faster when you seem to have eternity stretching ahead of you. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Bye Bye Bye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Are you cold?” Mandy asks Jenny on the last night of camp. Mandy shakes her head, she’s lying, but it doesn’t technically count as a lie if you don’t say it out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I join you?” Mandy asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny’s sitting on the beach, black hoodie pulled over her hair, it’s a miracle Mandy even saw her in the dark. She shrugs, pats the sand next to her. Mandy sits down. Her bare knees knock against Jenny’s, she flinches and Mandy moves away, Jenny curses herself for flinching, for making it weird. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always hate the last night of camp,” Mandy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny nods, “It’s sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made one hell of a fire though,” Mandy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha, thanks,” Jenny says, “Gotta use up all the wood I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Mandy say, “You’re really cool, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Jenny says, “I mean, it was just a fire.” she shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still cool, I definitely couldn’t have done that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been coming to camp forever, you pick that kind of stuff up. You make a better friendship bracelet than I do,” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, every one can make a good friendship bracelet. I made tonnes in middle school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you never made a friendship bracelet?” Mandy says like it’s some kind of cardinal sin</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Jenny says, “I tried one time with the kids in the craft cabin, but I’m not really good at it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Mandy says, her arms are covered in friendship bracelets, some of them older and more tattered than others, “Has anyone ever made one for you?” She asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny shakes her head, “I guess not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Mandy slides one of the bracelets off of her wrist, it’s one of the thick ones, a striped pattern made out of red and brown embroidery floss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny shakes her head,. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw come on,” Mandy says, “I made this one, you can have it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jenny shakes her head again, Mandy grabs her by the wrist and holds her hand and slides the bracelet over her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your hands are kind of small,” Mandy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny feels herself blush, Mandy’s hands are still wrapped around her wrist and she’s looking right at her with her clear blue eyes and her hopeful grin. Jenny allows herself one small smile and it feels like they’re having some kind of a moment. And then Mandy drops her hand and looks away, she tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles and Jenny thinks she’d probably do whatever it takes to make her smile like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you coming back next summer?” Jenny asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy nods, “I think so, I like the lake a lot. And the kids, they’re sweet. I’m starting school next month, going to be a teacher. It’s a good job to have in between semesters.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Totally,” Jenny says, “I’m starting school too. Biology.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, smart, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny shrugs, “It makes sense to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Mandy agrees, “I guess the kids make sense to me in that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ever worry… I mean about what it’s going to be like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not really,” Mandy answers, “I guess I just never really took the time to think about it y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Jenny says, “Guess I just think a lot more than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy giggles, “You calling me dumb?” and then she knocks their shoulders together and Jenny giggles too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Jenny answers honestly, “I think you think the right amount. I think too much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Mandy says, “Maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Jenny clears her throat</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like working here, the lake and the boats and the kids too,” Jenny says, “Even if I still can’t make a friendship bracelet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s quiet, a pause that borders just on the edge of awkward and then Mandy speaks. Jenny can tell that Mandy’s looking at her but Jenny can’t, so she looks forward at the fire. At the flames that are starting to die down from where she piled the wood on, at the embers that are still glowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I can teach you next summer,” Mandy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I’d like that,” Jenny answers, “A lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” Mandy says, “And hey, maybe we can trade, you teach me how to steer a canoe and I’ll teach you how to make friendship bracelets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a deal,” Mandy agrees and she sticks out her hand for Jenny to shake. They shake on it and Mandy’s hands are a lot rougher than Jenny was expecting, more calloused and bigger than her own. It surprises her, though she supposes that she should stop being surprised when it comes to Mandy. She’s nothing like she thought she’d be, that a girl so pretty could be so strong at the same time, a girl who gossips and knows how to french braid can be so kind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should head in, it’s almost lights out for my cabin,” Mandy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Jenny looks up, she’d been staring at the fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, for sure,” Jenny says. She has a cabin of some of the older boys, 11 and 12 year olds, they don’t have to turn the lights out as soon as Mandy’s Under 9 girls do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Mandy gets up and she puts her hand on Jenny’s shoulder and squeezes gently. And Jenny still doesn’t look directly at Mandy, she just smiles and puts her hand on top of Mandy’s and pats it gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waits, listens to Mandy’s footsteps retreating and when she hears the cabin door swing closed, she puts her head in her hands and squeezes. She closes her eyes and she can still feel exactly where Mandy’s hand had been and she sighs deeply, because at least she doesn’t have to see Mandy again until next summer, and maybe by then she’ll be over it and she’ll learn to make friendship bracelets without feeling guilty about the way she’s looking at Mandy.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let's go lesbians! <br/>if you've read other stuff that i've written you'll probably notice that these chapters are shorter than my usual chapter length, i'm doing this fic in more of a vignette style thing so I hope that's cool with y'all</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Since U Been Gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“He’s cute when he’s on the floor,” Mandy pops her bubblegum. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny’s not entirely sure how the bubblegum thing works with the whole being undead thing. She’s never asked if it ever goes stale, she’d like to know. She doesn’t ask Mandy those kinds of questions, about the logistics of being dead. Mandy doesn’t like being reminded that they’re dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he’s having a panic attack, Mands,” Jenny says. The window in the attic is open, she’s perched on the ledge watching the lacrosse players across the street. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, poor thing,” she Mandy crouches down next to him, “I wish I could kiss you better,” she winks at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny sighs. She stands up and slips through the crack in the door and stands in the middle of the stairs. She squeezes her eyes closed. It doesn’t hurt, necessarily. She doesn’t know how you can drain yourself of energy if you don’t sleep, but that’s how it feels when she tries to manifest something in the physical world. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holster, </span>
  </em>
  <span>it’s faint but she hopes someone hears it downstairs, it’s all she can muster today, manipulating the airwaves or something, that’s her theory anyway, she can’t actually talk in a way that the living can hear. There’s a tightness in her chest and it takes her longer to ascend the stairs. She hears thumping from the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rans?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>These boys are so loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny’s sitting in the window again when Adam walks into the attic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rans, you call me?” he asks, he looks down, “Ah,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re so cute,” Mandy says, she climbs up on to the top bunk and watches the boys from above.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why you care,” Jenny says, “They’re just gonna move away in two years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so boring, it’s not like there’s anything else to do,” Mandy scrunches up her nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like watching that stupid squirrel is any better,” Mandy rolls her eyes at Jenny’s usual position at the window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny turns her head so she can see Adam grabbing a blanket off the top bunk. It goes through Mandy, Mandy doesn’t even flinch. She doesn’t mind the feeling of people going through her, or things even. Jenny hates it, she flinches every time, like she’s remembering that it’s supposed to hurt even though it can’t hurt anymore. There’s nothing that the living can do to hurt her anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam drapes the blanket over Justin’s body then pulls one of the pillows off his own bottom bunk and slides it under Justin’s neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy’s still leaning over the bunk watching the two boys intently. Jenny stands up, some kind of blase curiosity at what sent Justin into this panic. She looks over at his notes. She doesn’t have the energy to move them so she can see the back of his notes but she can tell he’s looking at the quiz he failed last week, that he’s started making his own corrections in red pen. She turns around when she hears Adam open the mini-fridge, he sets a purple gatorade by Justin’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No worries bro,” Adam says and he pats him gently on the shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny squeezes her eyes shut. She puts her hand on her own neck. She forgets how it feels to be touched by someone else, she’s not even sure if she’s really feeling her own hand anymore or if it’s just the memory of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she opens her eyes again, Mandy’s sitting on the floor next to Justin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna be such a good doctor,” she’s cooing at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy’s too concerned with the business of the living if you ask Jenny, but she can’t deny that this is sweet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Mandy’s hand hovers over Justin but she doesn’t put her hand on his back like she would have when she was alive, can’t anymore, “Just one quiz,” her voice is gentle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mandy’s humming something, it’s Britney Spears. Mandy always loved her, she sings the songs to keep them in her head, squeals whenever someone in the Haus puts them on at a party. Jenny joins in the singing, finds that she can’t remember most of her favourite songs anymore. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Say My Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jenny never saw herself joining a sorority in her freshman year, but she’s not surprise. Because it was Mandy’s idea and she’d do anything to keep hanging out with the pretty blonde girl with strawberry lemonade chapstick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t tell me you were going to Samwell!” Mandy squeals when she sees Jenny outside of the library during frosh week. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Jenny looks up surprised, eyes wide because she would recognize that voice anywhere and her first reaction is a deep, whole hearted, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But she smiles the way that you’re supposed to smile at a friend and she says, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, you didn’t tell me either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What an awesome coincidence!” Mandy says, “what are you up to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno,” Jenny says, “I guess I’m just hanging out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At the library?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Mandy says, “Ooh! I have a great idea,” and Jenny is quickly learning that the bubbly enthusiasm isn’t just a camp thing, she’s genuinely that excited just about all the time, “I’m rushing a sorority and </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>should come with me!” Mandy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Jenny says, and she kind of hates the concept of a sorority. It seems way too much like paying someone to be your friend, but then again, Jenny hasn’t made any friends yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So she says yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go pick up a book, but I’ll meet you out here at 5, if that’s early enough for the rush event?” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Totally! I have a couple other things to do by then, so I’ll see you here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny holes up at a table in the library and gets ahead of her readings. She knows that when Mandy says she has “things to do,” they’re big important things, things that pretty blonde sorority girls do, things with friends and giggles. She looks down at the friendship bracelet that she still has, the one Mandy slid on her wrist a few months ago. She knows that she’ll never get to be what she wants to be to Mandy, but maybe she can be her friend, maybe that’s enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun’s going down at 5:12, which is when Mandy shows up at the steps of the library. Jenny’s been sitting there for half an hour, slowly convincing herself that Mandy isn’t actually coming, that she decided against hanging out with the weird girl she knew from camp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then Mandy appears, jogging and waving, massive smile still on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry, the tryouts ran long!” She says out of breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tryouts?” Jenny asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on the gymnastics team, they recruited me and stuff but I still have to go to the tryouts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, wow,” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, rush starts at 5:30, we should hurry if we want to make it!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Jenny stands up and Mandy grabs her by the wrist and starts running and Jenny pumps her legs to keep up with her but she manages, she doesn’t want to fall behind, because then Mandy will let go of her arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The house is unassuming, painted white with a porch in front. There are four girls sitting behind a folding plastic table. They all have their hair pulled back and they're all wearing white tennis skirts and red halter tops. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on!” Mandy smiles and yanks Jenny across the front lawn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you two here to rush,” one of the sorority girls asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep!” Mandy says, “I’m Mandy and this is Jenny, can we have the forms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” the only girl wearing glasses says through her white toothed lipgloss smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are your majors?” Another girl asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Early childhood education,” Mandy meets lipgloss smile with lipgloss smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m biology,” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, perfect! We need more science girls!” A different sorority girl says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have an interview process once you fill out the forms and there are refreshments inside. You should also try and introduce yourselves to the president.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Jenny says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, let’s go!” Mandy says and grabs her by the hand again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jenny thinks she’d let herself be pulled in any direction Mandy wants to take her. </span>
</p>
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